for the first time in a long while, i can foresee a lot of good at the end of the tunnel.

i have never been more ready or excited before. i'm positively giggly over a gem.

this feeling has reached every little part of me; from the crinkles in my forehead, to the very root of my funny follicles, to underneath my fingernails, in between my eyelashes, to the spot underneath my tongue and even that hard to reach part of my back that always seems to tickle.

You leave a twinkle in my eye and I like it.

almost a week spent jamming as much knowledge as possible and nothing to show for it...Are certain subjects/facts not meant to fit into the minuscule pores of this complicated sponge?

I was practically dreaming of prokaryotes, fungi, and the like for a week..I couldn't stop thinking about it..I thoroughly completed the study guide and spent 3 hours even making extra copies onto flashcards which I studied with for another few hours before the exam...I locked myself away from anything social last week because I am trying to take every little ounce of these courses seriously..but why isn't it carrying on to prove to anyone I'm capable of this?

"Sorry, Kent State, I'm capable of writing good papers, but I can't pass any of your exams..is it alright if you just let me have my degree anyway? Thanks."

......

ode to chamomile

Oh, the years spent without you by my side, I do not know how I moved through those nights of tossing and turning overflowing with thoughts. Afternoon naps led to all-nighters of nothingness. Where was I to go, what was I to do with a mind so awake? In the distance I saw you, but wasn't a believer. When it came to seeing 6AM bike rides in my future, you were my last resort. Maybe our relationship is simply placebo, but I don't mind. You may taste slightly minty and warm like a spring day(maybe not in Ohio..), but you have filled a void in my life I wasn't sure was possible.

Thanks to you, rapid-eye-movement before 11PM is feasible.

the truth is, I'm more scared than I have ever been in my life...scared of laying a pencil to a paper and instantly forgetting the past month of lectures on things I'm really interested in..I KNOW it's up there, so where does it go under that pressure?

please help me find it..