This week I was lectured at least 3 times on the matter of remaining "single" (by legal definition). These lectures were all given to me by the men of VK Maintenance.

I need that reminder sometimes that it's necessary to take time out for ME... maybe I need to take a month or 2 off after graduating and travel. I want to become so comfortable with the idea of traveling alone/living alone to the point of not wanting a "group" trip anymore. It sounds harsh but it's true. I'm already on the way. I know what I like and regardless of how much I have in common with a person, disagreements will arise.

From time to time I realize I did take a trip for 11 days alone and survived.. though I hit some scrapes and bruises, I made it. Ana, that was only your first time traveling alone, by the way.

I feel like it's too common of an argument with myself no matter how much I think I've gotten better at living for me. I'm human, though. Humans want things they don't necessarily need all the time. I wake up some days and I'm content.. and some nights I lie awake in embarrassment of my inability to commit for fear of disappointment. If I didn't have anyone to compare myself to on this matter I wouldn't feel so lame. That's all.

All I hear is; "You're going to be 22 this year and you haven't committed to anything AT ALL yet?"

"Yeah, I mean, I guess the right one hasn't come along, yet." <--- lame-o.

I don't know if I'm strong enough for this... I thought I was, but I'm not. I can't even begin to express how much I need to scream off the top of a cliff right now.